lyrics by Peter Nulton (and Alexander Pope)
Twere ‘bout three years ago
In the coster market
I was down upon my luck
Looking for a little racket
When I spotted the mark
It a right honored sort of prig
Twas magistrate, a judge
N’his accustomed robe and wig
That periwig would fetch
A fetching price, I thought
If removed from the jurist
By a fence it could be bought
Of course, the point at issue
Was removal from the skull
Of a man whose beck and call
Accedes King George’s law
I followed two blocks hence
To a rather bawdy inn
He’d drink; I’d watch unnoticed
Among the crowd and din
When evening rolled about
The good judge left the bar
He left the barmy barristers
As he staggered out the door
A mile’n half from Mayfair
Totterin’ down a back lane
Twere quiet as a churchyard
Here’s the place to make me play
I first produced my Rapier
And then produced my flintlock
And said Stand and deliver
Give me that wig and wa-lk!
He exclaimed “You’ll hang for this!”
You’d better catch me first
I laughed behind my mask
As I made t’ward Chislehurst
I thought I’d made my fortune
The periwig the loot
When I brought it to the fence
Its value he did dispute
“A judge’s wig you brought me?
This will be hard to sell
Given that the buyer
Must needs be judge as well”
So hear my warning
And remember forth this hence
That a bigwig’s wig might be
Most challenging to fence
The Dandy Highwaymen is a Rococo Punk project.
www.facebook.com/TheDandyHighwaymen
instagram.com/thedandyhighwaymen
first performed 1/14/18 at Arisia, Boston, MA
